it may seem like i don't care, but i do care. fact is i care a lot. so much so that i think about it almost every of my conscious moment. it's true. my mind's on it constantly. it hurts.. which kinda explains why i don't feel like i'm alive. so long already. but you're right, faith and hope do count... anyhow it's chinese new year already! will be off to m'sia to guo nian.. yep hope to get lotsa ang baos..will be trying to do up my outstanding tutorials and keep pace with the lectures, which seems increasingly harder to do.. argh man.. anyhow, it's a pain to watch training when you can't join in.. of course when you're training you'd always want a break but believe me, it ain't easy to watch and knowing you can do nothing. can't wait to get back.. i'm ready to explode. hope my body can hold. man i really dunnoe what's going on now..it's like i lost something.. maybe its cos i haven't found sth..maybe, just maybe...yah?

i search for a certainty among all the uncertainties.


i long to find it.

cut my hair at the barber shop..looks like shit now..actually, worse. why the shit did i go there? or why the heck did i even cut my hair in the first place.. screw lah, damn damn pissed off with lee chee keong. f... like what the heck is wrong with him keep screwing the guys in our class for little stuff.. or what if he's a lilttle slack? so are half the teachers out there.. what's the big deal man? i know he pissed off more than me already.. wtf.

enough about screwed up shit. really screws everything up. f--- f--- f--- looking forward to my next haircut back there. i won't give a shit about what he says..

cny around the corner. but work's the first thing on my mind now. okay maybe second... yep, back to about work.. it's really bad..still have lots of catching up to do.. still lamenting the fact that i did nothing during hols. sigh if only. you know, it's gonna be what a year..

still pissed.. hope my hair grows real fast. bah what have i done.. arrgh.

well, the past week was forgettable.. it was gone in a blur. not that there was anything worth remembering huh.. things can get better..in more ways than one. perhaps i should try harder.. wanted to do some work just now..but ended up doing a new template..this is gonna be a temporary one.. nope to find something nice. okay out of point.. but anyways, i really don't know what to expect. what is going on? this is a question i find myself asking a lot sometimes.. if only i were just thinking too much.

pretty incoherent ramblings. doesn't flow does it.. was talking bout lots of things in a few lines. i don't get it, do you? well well well... not here. ok think a good night's sleep should help me out. but after that what? is it gonna be the same old thing again? it feels strange. awkward even. hope it gets better. i need to get some things off my chest.

there's so much work to do. dunnoe if i'll have time.. should stop now, arm's hurting anyway. see ya ppl..